The power of future regrets
I attended a 5-day retreat last week. We slowed down and I took time to contemplate about life, change, impermanence and death.
It was an important reminder of how forgetful I can be of the inevitable truth of life.
I will be touching on mortality today. If this topic triggers you, please stop reading now.
If you are consciously aware that this life is impermanent, that one day, we will all leave this earth. What will you do differently?
I know that at an intellectual level, we acknowledge that we will all die at some point. This is the truth.
Yet, in our daily lives, I occasionally find myself living carelessly, as though this life is infinite.
When I say carelessly, it doesn’t mean that I drive recklessly or put myself in unnecessary danger.
It meant that I have forgotten how precious this life is and how precious my time is.
Time spent scrolling through social media when it no longer feels nourishing and instead, feels numbing.
Time spent beating myself up in my head because certain things did not go as well as I wanted it to.
Time spent comparing myself with others again and again, wondering whether I am doing enough.
Time spent being angry at someone, letting the triggering words live in my head.
I asked myself, if one day I am standing in front of Death, what is it that I might regret?
I might regret that I did not spend more time with my loved ones.
I might regret that I did not pursue my heart’s calling because I was too afraid.
I might regret that I lived a life trying to meet others’ expectations, instead of honoring myself.
I might regret that I spent too much time worrying about what others might think of me and not having more fun.
The power of future regret is a strong one. It helps to shape my decisions and actions today.
With that in mind,
I spend more quality time with people who truly matter. That means saying "No" to invites that didn’t feel like “Yes!” from within. I allow myself to let go of certain relationships that no longer serve me and pursue those that are nourishing.
I use social media with care. Whenever I caught myself scrolling aimlessly, I pause and exit. If I truly want to connect with someone, I will ask the person out for dinner, a virtual coffee or a hike.
When I start comparing myself with others’ progress, I pause and remind myself that everyone’s life path is different. I shall walk my path, at my pace. No one is going to measure “how fast did you succeed” at the end of the line.
I allow myself to take risks. In my case, calculated risks because I am not the “leap-off-the-cliff-with-faith” kind of person. I am aware that I would very much regret not trying something rather than having tried it and figuring out it didn’t work. “If only” and “What if” really twist my gut.
I cared less about what others thought of me. When I am going to leave this world, I am not going to answer to anyone. I am answering to myself.
I give myself more opportunities to experience joy and nurture my hobbies, even if it means slowing down at times. Why are we constantly rushing anyway?
This life is impermanent.
When I am consciously aware of it, all the less important demands in life fall away. Comparisons fall away and I show up for what matters.
It has influenced the choices and decisions I make – how I work, how I spend, how I live and how I interact with others.
How about you? If you are aware that this life is impermanent, what will you do differently?
What would you do more of? What would you let go of?
You have the power today, to live your life with conscious awareness and less regrets.
PS: If you have been thinking about living a more fulfilled life but you're feeling stuck and not sure where to start, I can support you to have more clarity through coaching. I have 1 spot left in April - you may apply for a free 75 minutes coaching discovery session here.
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Love,
TJ
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