Are you imprisoned by your own achievements?
Have you let go of something you worked really hard for, and were good at it?
Have you focused on achieving, for the sake of.....achieving?
I have.
For a big part of my life, my identity revolved around achievements.
Last weekend, I attended the CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) Charter Award Ceremony to support my sister, and being around the finance community brought back a wave of nostalgia.
In my early 20s, I thought I was going to be a finance & accounting professional.
I completed my accounting professional qualification (ACCA) and shortly after took up CFA, one of the most recognized and prestigious qualifications for investment professionals.
As I observe the newly minted CFA holders doted in black suits network with each other, I sat down at the back rows with the rest of the guests.
I felt like an outsider to the investment and banking world.
The thing is, I passed all CFA levels back in 2012, 11 years ago.
Me holding my sister's certificate for a photo commemorating the hard work I put in back then :)
I was young and eager to succeed. Yet, I was also deeply insecure.
My achievements and qualifications helped me feel that I am good enough.
After completing CFA level 2, I joined P&G (a consumer goods company) to be a sales manager - nothing accounting/finance related.
I wanted to stop studying then because I noticed that I wasn’t interested in becoming an investment professional anymore.
I did not need CFA.
However, I couldn’t quit.
I was already this far. Giving up on the final level seems like a waste.
So, I soldiered on.
It was intense.
I tried studying at night, after a long day of work - doing sales and stock counting in the warehouse.
It didn’t work as I was too tired to remember anything.
Then, I changed my strategy and woke up at 5am to study until 7:30am before I head out to work.
It was a gruelling year. It felt like a blur, actually.
When I thought about my life back then, I felt sad for the girl in her 20s.
I actually knew that deep down, I wasn’t interested.
I remember a friend looking at me with bewildered eyes, like – “Girl, why are you putting yourself through this? I would just let go already”
Yet, it was much easier said than done.
I saw myself as someone who doesn’t give up and can excel as long as I put my mind to it.
Not finishing what I have started felt like I was betraying myself. Not excelling wasn’t an option.
“What if this will come in handy in the future?” – my mind said.
I pushed down my heart’s resistance and just forced it through.
I sacrificed sleep and many social evenings.
I thought I was being strong.
The reality is that I wasn’t being true to myself.
In the end, I passed with great results.
Yet, I did not feel fulfilled or joyful.
I felt that I just checked off an item.
I was achieving, for the sake of achieving.
Since then, I have never used my CFA qualification or openly share that I have it.
I finally gave myself permission to let go of a dream that no longer resonated with me and embrace a different path.
I constantly remind myself that,
My past achievements & my qualifications serve as an enabler, it shouldn’t be my prison.
Just because I can, doesn’t mean that I should.
11 years later, this learning allowed me to also leave my promising corporate career and chart a new career path as a life coach.
As I looked around, I know that even though I do not belong here with the rest of finance professionals, I finally feel belong and at ease with myself.
For that, I feel proud of the steps I have taken and for all that I have allowed myself to let go.
My invitation to you is as follows:
Do not let your past experiences, achievements or academic background imprison you or hold you back.
Define your own success and what fulfilment looks like to you now.
Not what your parents, your friends, or your past self thinks.
Fulfillment comes in many aspects – job satisfaction, impact, financial reward, freedom, time, relationships, health, creativity, fun, etc
Unfortunately, society disproportionately highlights and prioritizes “titles” and “financial reward” that keeps the consumerism cycle going.
I used to feel immense fear of missing out when I was constantly measuring myself against others.
As I start to be aware of & accept my uniqueness, my values, my genius, and my mission, I feel rich within.
I no longer feel inferior or envious about the big paychecks or achievements I hear of others getting.
I no longer judge how “prestigious” my title sound.
“Regional Head of Market Strategy & Planning” vs “Life Coach”
The former definitely sounds more sophisticated to many others.
Yet, I am so grateful to be a life coach now even though I am not earning as much as I used to.
I feel so much joy and satisfaction within, and I have more fun.
I am confident that the financial reward will follow in time to come too.
Similarly, your definition of fulfillment will be unique to you and goes beyond your title and the money you have in your bank.
You are a human being with so, so much to offer and receive.
Life is not a race, we will all die one day.
Make your journey count.
Remember, your past experiences do not define you.
Your achievements do not define you.
You have a choice now, and how wonderful and freeing that is!
Sending you love, courage, and freedom as you lean inwards to your deepest longing
PS: If you are a high achiever who constantly compares yourself with others, and after years of meeting others' expectations achieving more, more & more have left you wondering what you truly want, I am excited to support you in exploring what a fulfilling life will look like for you and take action towards that.
If you have an idea of what you want but feel too scared to believe in it & pursue it, I am here to support you too.
Apply for a complimentary coaching discovery session here.
PPS: If you resonate with this reflection and find it helpful, share this with your friends and family. It will be a gift to them! They can choose to subscribe to the upcoming newsletters here.
Love,
TJ
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