Do you have Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?
Are you one of those who refuse to go to bed even though you know you’re supposed to?
That you want to squeeze out a bit more time to do something for yourself before you sleep.
Often, this ends up with you mindlessly scrolling social media or binge-watching YouTube videos.
Then, you feel so tired and numb, finally giving in to sleep because it’s getting way too late.
You already foresee that you’ll feel so tired tomorrow.
The next day, you beat yourself up and say why didn’t you go to sleep earlier.
The cycle continues.
This is a symptom of Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
The term became popular following a viral tweet by journalist Daphne K. Lee.
She described it as something that happens when
“people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.”
It is one thing if you genuinely enjoy your “me” time at night as I am aware that different people have different schedules and sleeping patterns.
It is another thing if you are being sucked into an involuntary cycle where you feel guilty about your patterns. 15 minutes of relaxation become two hours of mind-numbing social media or shows.
I experienced this early in my career when I was very busy with my job and I prioritize it over everything else. I put everyone else’s demands above mine.
I would be so exhausted at night and then, I would still want to play with my phone.
My mind wanted to cool down and in some ways, trying to protest for some “me” time.
I wanted to break the cycle.
The coping mechanism wasn’t working for me as I was feeling more tired and frustrated, both mentally and physically.
So, I started to look at how can I take control of my daytime in a way that meets my needs.
I started carving out time for things that brought me joy.
Back then, I started going to yoga classes and committed to a workout routine that helped me get off work.
To carve out time for myself, I also needed to start saying no to things.
I had better boundaries at work and others’ demands. I would be more mindful in committing timelines to ensure I am not overstretching myself.
When I was more conscious of how I spend my time, dedicating windows of time to take care of myself and doing things that are aligned with my values, I felt more ready and contented to head to bed at night.
This enabled a positive cycle where I feel more well-rested, and have more energy to face the day.
So, if you suffer from revenge bedtime procrastination, don’t blame yourself.
It’s much more common than you think.
Be honest with yourself.
1. Review your schedule – how are you spending your time during the day?
If you are spending a lot of time on unimportant tasks or pleasing others, it’s time to cut them out.
When your daytime activities are making you very unhappy or unfulfilled, it can be the source of your negative cycle.
2. What changes can you make to help you feel good about yourself during the day?
It can be something small – like scheduling 20 minutes to yourself to watch your favorite show, truly savoring it; or 15 minutes of workout to feel good.
It may be major too - thinking about changing job due to misaligned interest or leaving a toxic work environment
3. Let your environment help you
If possible, leave your phone or tablet outside the bedroom. If not, turn it on plane mode.
Bring in a good old book. Books don’t stimulate your mind as hard as the screens and they help you calm down too.
Sometimes, I flip open my book and after two paragraphs, tired tears are coming out of my eyes hahaha.
So, ultimately it’s not JUST a discipline issue.
It’s giving you feedback that perhaps, you are not living a life that you truly deserve.
And, you have the power to listen and change.
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