Embracing Mediocrity: The unexpected path to courage and taking risks
I went back to an Ashtanga Yoga studio after 5 years.
I used to practice yoga fervently for years. In my 20s, I would practice yoga 6 days a week.
When I got married and COVID-19 happened, I practiced much lesser. I am no longer in the same form I used to be.
I have been toying with the idea of heading back to a yoga studio for practice but I told myself, perhaps you can practice more on your own first.
I wanted to “get ready” for my class.
There, I caught myself.
Why do I need to “get ready” to go to classes?
I can go to class and become better.
This is my inner achiever programming.
What is the inner achiever most afraid of?
To be the worst among the lot.
I also did not want to admit how much I have “regressed”
I am no longer as flexible.
I am no longer as strong.
There were poses I could no longer do.
I think, deep down I was ashamed that I let myself slip this far.
Seeing this, I decided to make a choice.
I shall not let my desire to be “Good” prevent me from pursuing things that I enjoy or matter to me.
Yes, I am no longer as “good” as I used to be.
Yet, I am willing to get back.
I am willing to be mediocre.
I am willing to be the worst in the class.
I know, I can get better. I just need to start somewhere.
I am grateful that I can see it this way now.
Being an achiever with perfectionist tendency, I used to feel afraid to try new things, fearing I would not be good at them.
Now, I accept that – "hey, you will be bad! And it’s okay."
So, I went back to class and indeed, I was the worst haha!
And I was fine with that.
I am no longer in school and no one is grading me.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself even though I was wobbly and clumsy at some point.
I feel energized and my body is saying Yes!
For someone whose mind is tremendously hard on myself, I am in awe of how far I have come.
Not physically.
But how far I have come to be kind to myself
To accept myself and be kind to my journey.
The challenge of a high achiever is to be willing to be bad.
Willing to be mediocre.
To become good at something, one needs to start learning.
To do this, it requires tremendous amount of self-acceptance and self-compassion.
Accepting that we are not where we want to be yet.
Being kind and compassionate in this journey.
Not comparing with others, and just focusing on your journey.
From a career context, are you afraid of going for a promotion?
Are you afraid of taking on a lateral move into a new scope?
If you are doubting yourself, pause and ask yourself, what are you afraid of?
Are you afraid of not being able to do the job?
Or Are you afraid that you cannot excel?
More often than not, it’s the latter.
You are afraid that you will not be as good or as excellent as where you are right now.
The thought of going into something uncertain, not sure if you will be excellent is a risk.
Why rock the boat?
If you remember that you have had your learning curve in where you currently are, you can remember that you have the ability to learn and adapt.
If you do not expect yourself to immediately be as excellent as all these people you look up to, how will you feel?
Often, you look at leaders and tell yourself –
“Man, I am not like them yet. I don’t think I can do this role. When I become more like them, then I will be ready.”
You have forgotten that those people may have already been in the role for years.
You are comparing your beginning with someone’s peak.
If you remember that you don’t need to be a top performer immediately, and you can grow into mastery, how do you feel?
What are you willing to try?
With love,
TJ
PS: When you find yourself being held back by fear of taking action, you don't have to face it alone. Apply for a coaching discovery session because you can discover the courage in you to start taking meaningful steps forward.
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