How not to be intimidated by successful people
Have you ever felt intimidated by very smart, very beautiful, very successful people who seem to be very well-spoken?
I have.
I would catch myself feeling inferior and being a bit more awkward when interacting with them.
If you have experienced this too, I want to remind you that they are not objectively “better” than you.
It’s your mind trying to measure yourself against others with an invisible ruler.
If you feel like you fall short versus others (with whatever benchmark standard you are using), you will feel inferior.
That’s why sometimes you stutter in an interview or when talking to senior leaders.
If you feel like you are better off than others, you feel confident.
That’s why talking to a junior feels comfortable to you.
In this sense, your confidence fluctuates, depending on the environment.
Now, how can you regulate this?
For me, I remember that hey, we are all human beings.
Seems simple huh?
Yeah, it’s that simple but it takes some time to really sink in.
.
.
I meditate on this.
This person who is much more senior and successful is a human being.
This person experiences sadness and disappointment, just like I do.
This person wants to be happy, just like I do.
This person wants to love and be loved, just like I do.
This person gets hungry, and needs rest, just like I do.
Yes, our preferences and interests may differ.
Yet, at a deep fundamental level, this person is just like me.
A person with emotions, hopes, dreams, and fears.
You may not witness all of them because people often hide them well.
Yet, remembering that deep down we are all not so different after all allows me to communicate with people from all levels and all walks of life with much more ease.
I no longer feel a strong urge to impress them or please them.
I no longer need to prove my worth.
With that, I naturally become more confident because I am no longer trying too hard.
So, whenever you feel that you’re anxious around people who you deem to be more “successful” than you, remember this:
They are human too.
Both of you have precious human lives.
You are not worse off and you are on your unique journey.
Have a wonderful weekend ahead :)
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