Commitment to self is not just about being disciplined & hardworking
Quitting my job was the "side effect" of consistently showing up for my business & passion project.
However, it wasn’t easy.
Although I am considered disciplined in the eyes of others, I struggled with being consistent in building my mindfulness & coaching business for many years.
It’s really not just about being disciplined or being hardworking.
Consistently showing up for ourselves takes commitment and it can be challenging at times because there’s no one there to punish us if we don’t do it.
For example, if I miss the gym for a week or two, no one is going to ask me to pay a penalty.
There’s no punishment if I do not work on my passion project or side hustle for 1 month.
Unlike your job, there are always deadlines and there are immediate consequences if those aren’t met.
However, if we keep putting off what matters to us, we pay the long-term price of not living a fulfilling life.
For almost 10 years, I would do mindfulness training & coaching here and there and feel really inspired by doing them.
Yet, these are often one-offs and then I am back to the grind. It continued to stay as a small thing on the side even though I really loved doing it.
In 2021, I hired a coach that shifted my mindset on how I see my own work & why it matters.
That had a snowball effect.
By consistently doing the work, I created a body of work, network, and clientele that helped me believe in myself and believe that I can make a living out of this.
That created a positive feedback loop to motivate me to do more.
The spurts of inspiration are good, yet it’s the consistency in building what matters to you that will bring you closer to your goal.
What is something important to you that you have been putting off again and again? It can be a side business, it can be going to the gym, or just a hobby of pottery making.
If you are finding it difficult to be consistent, it may not be that you’re not disciplined.
It may be the following:
1. You are consciously or unconsciously deprioritizing this and putting other things first.
In your mind, you categorized this as a “side thing” and “less important” compared to your job or other responsibilities.
Underlying this, there’s the thinking of “I must not disappoint others.”
Pause and ask - How about yourself? Are you disappointing yourself in any way?
2. You are trying very hard to maintain the “perfect employee” image that you are constantly taking in more and do not say enough “no”.
When you keep saying “yes” to more and more demands at work, what are you saying “no” to?
Is it your health, your passion, or your relationships?
In what areas would you like to start saying “no”?
3. You can’t seem to “disconnect” from your day job.
Your job is taking up so much mind space that even while you’re not working, you are thinking about undone work and it drained your energy to do anything else.
Start by acknowledging that work will never be finished-finished (if you know what I mean). There’s always more.
It’s okay to do your own thing and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.
4. You are not believing and trusting yourself.
When you try to do it, the inner critic shows up and says – “You’re not good enough. You can’t make it. Why waste time anyway? No one cares”
Thinking these thoughts will make starting feel like an impossible task.
You feel defeated even before starting.
Remember, you get better when you start doing it. You start building a habit after you start doing it.
Give yourself permission to do it imperfectly.
5. You do not have the support to create the foundation/mindset to keep you going.
It’s easy to fall into old patterns and prioritize other things if your limiting beliefs are not looked at and you’re not clear with your “why”.
The shift in action comes from a deep shift in mindset and emotions.
Just forcing it through is not sustainable.
If you can’t figure it out for the past few years by reading more books and listening to more podcasts, it’s time to do something different.
Consider getting a coach or a mentor. Trust me, it makes a world of difference.
Remember, your needs matter.
Commit to yourself.
If you keep showing up for what matters to you, no matter how small the step is, you will be surprised by where it will lead you.
PS: If you feel unfulfilled at work, don’t focus on quitting yet. Focus on creating the work that matters to you or nurturing the needs that you have deprioritized. I can support you to do that. Apply for a free discovery call and explore what's possible.
PPS: If you resonate with this reflection and find it helpful, share this with your friends and family. It will be a gift to them! They can choose to subscribe to the upcoming newsletters here.
Love,
TJ
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