I disagree with this saying
You know the saying –
"How you do one thing is how you do everything?"
"How you do anything is how you do everything?"
I used to buy this phrase but I don’t agree with it 100% now.
I can’t deny that it’s a nice motivational phrase to inspire people to focus on the small details.
They matter. Yes, we shouldn’t be sloppy.
Yet, I do not agree that how you do anything is how you do everything.
It’s a blanket statement.
It’s unrealistic.
Well, I look around.
I have unfolded laundry.
My working table can be tidier.
If I follow the saying – it would show that I am not a disciplined person because how I do one thing, is how I do everything.
If I left my dishes on the sink overnight, does it make me an irresponsible person at work too?
If I forget to reply to a friend’s WhatsApp message, does it mean that I am poor in giving timely responses to others?
The truth is, that I have different roles, different commitments, and different priorities.
I cannot give the same level of attention, effort, and time to everything and everyone that I come across.
If you internalize this phrase of “how you do anything is how you do everything” – it’s going to have a few side effects.
You are going to try to do your best in EVERYTHING.
Sounds amazing, right?
Well, there’s the other side to this.
When you use every instance to judge yourself - those instances define you as a person.
There’s so much at stake. That one thing speaks about your character as it is an indicator of how you do everything.
It makes you feel guilty when you are not able to show up as per your standards.
So, you push yourself to live up to your standards in all areas.
Can you feel burnout approaching?
Now, let’s not forget that you are human.
You have 24 hours in a day and your energy is finite.
Let’s face it, you are not going to have the time and energy to be “the best” for everyone in your work and life.
It’s impossible.
You are facing a battle that can never be won.
And you wonder why you feel so restless all the time?
You can be strict and meticulous at work AND be clumsy and disorganized in your kitchen.
You can be a very loyal friend AND choose to not hang out with friends on a Friday night because you need rest.
You can be a calm and composed leader AND have moments of agitation when your toddler is throwing a tantrum.
How you do anything is NOT how you do everything.
Stop holding this impossible benchmark in measuring yourself all the time.
You prioritize and make choices.
Pursue wholeheartedly on what’s worthy, and let go of those that’s not.
Every moment, you have a choice.
You are not defined by one instance or one experience.
Stop labeling yourself.
Similarly, don’t judge others too quickly.
PS: If you would like to start living a wholehearted life that is true to you and not defined by what others expect you to, apply for a coaching discovery session here because you deserve to thrive with meaning, joy and courage.
PPS: If you resonate with this reflection and find it helpful, share this with your friends and family. It will be a gift to them. They can choose to subscribe to the upcoming newsletters here.
Love,
TJ
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