How to cope with anxiety after you quit your job
Since I tendered my resignation, my inner critic had been on turbo charge these days. Think Energizer bunny - She’s in full-on survival mode, pacing within with all the questions she can come up with to keep me where I currently am so that she feels safe.
Sometimes, I feel like taking back my resignation letter.
“Will you crash and burn? What if you fail?”
“What if you are not as good as you think you are?”
“How are you going to survive?”
“Why don’t you grow the business a bit more before you quit?”
My inner critic has been my partner since I was in primary school. Over the years, her role has evolved, at times quieter, at times super active.
This, is the super active period.
So, how do I sit with this decision even though she’s stirring within me?
There are a few things that I realize about the inner critic as I navigate this period alongside her and I hope it can be useful to you too.
1. Not everything your inner critic says is true – she’s emotional, not objective
She would project the absolute worst-case scenarios. Things like I will fail and that it will lead to me not having enough money to put food on the table. It sounds ridiculous as I type this but it feels very real within. So, I had to be objective when it comes to these worst-case scenarios.
I have a detailed excel sheet about my savings, investments, living expenses & commitments. I have my personal financial statements and business financial statements.
Seeing that and reminding myself that I indeed have enough to sustain myself is a good reminder that she’s just being way, way too prudent.
Taking this risk feels reasonable when I look at it objectively. If I surrender to her emotional projections, I would feel that I was being irresponsible and I will starve on the street.
If you’re thinking about taking a risk that may involve changes in your financials, be really objective about it.
Ignorance is NOT bliss in this case.
2. Having anxiety as you step out of your comfort zone is normal, whoever you are
Sometimes, I feel bad for all these anxiety and unpleasant emotions arising within me.
I thought - "man, I am a coach and mindfulness trainer. I shouldn’t be feeling these."
The inner critic is saying – "if you are more matured and more prepared, you wouldn’t feel this way."
There, I catch my unrealistic expectations of myself.
Beyond my professional role, I am a human being. Whether I am a CEO, a coach, or in the future - possibly a mom, there are no “shoulds” in how I feel.
I feel what I feel.
I now see these emotions as part of the journey. I am not weaker because I feel this way. I am not less ready when I feel this way.
I am a coach, and I am also a human. Having these emotions do not make me less of a coach or an entrepreneur. Instead, it allows me to connect with others.
Similarly, if you are taking on bigger responsibilities or changing career paths, having anxiety doesn’t mean that you’re not ready or that it’s a wrong decision.
It just means that it’s beyond your comfort zone and your body is adapting to the growth and transformation.
Embrace the emotion, hold space for all these emotions, and be kind to them.
3. Seek for evidence that you are capable
When my inner critic is on a high, she would find every single piece of evidence that I am not good enough. Anything less than perfection is a sign that I am not cut out for this.
This is the time I have to again remind myself that this is NOT the absolute truth. I was zooming in on a small part of me and ignored a huge part of me that’s very capable.
I found a way to assure her.
I would review my clients’ journey and progress. I would read their heartfelt testimonials to me. I would reflect upon the times when we had breakthroughs together.
I would also look at my decade-long corporate career and be reminded of the strengths and perseverance that brought me to where I am today.
I remind myself that, I am capable and I will figure this thing out. Even if it’s challenging, I can keep growing and learning.
You can also do this to remind yourself when you are feeling doubtful about yourself. Write down what you’ve achieved, and reflect upon your strengths.
You are not as incapable as your inner critic thinks you are.
4. Anchoring on your big “WHY”
This is an important one - "Why am I doing this?"
When your “WHY” is not clear, it’s easy to sway with others’ opinions and trust the words of your inner critic. In short, it’s easy to get distracted.
I am doing this because coaching gives me tremendous joy and fulfillment from within.
It is aligned with what I value – Empowerment & Compassion.
I trust that within each and everyone, there’s gold within and we can all be free from suffering.
As I journey with a client and witness his or her transformation, I am deeply touched. This, is when my heart feels like she’s singing and a deep sense of gratitude arises. I just cannot ignore what my heart and body are telling me.
My “WHY” anchored me and keeps me focused. Even before I quit, I was consistently doing work that brings me closer to my vision.
Are you in touch with your “WHY” for taking action? If not, take Simon Sinek’s advice and start with your “WHY”.
Be it becoming a Senior Director in a corporation, starting your own side hustle, or just staying where you are – be in touch with your “WHY”.
5. Seek support!
All the above is not easy when emotions get too overwhelming. I have the skills and tools to soothe myself and bring clarity. However, at times, self-help is not enough.
When I feel uncertain and insecure, it’s easy for me to withdraw from support as I feel that I have to get my shit together first.
I learned a better strategy.
I allow myself (at times force myself) to reach out for support when I feel that I am in a rut. Be it from my coach or my accountability partner.
I no longer feel ashamed to ask for support.
Instead, I feel empowered. I am no longer bound by my ego. I allow myself to do whatever is necessary to bring the results that matter to me.
I feel more freedom, courage, and clarity because of my support system.
Are you reaching out for support? Who do you have in your support system? How are they serving you in your journey?
Curate your own support system today and allow yourself to receive support. It makes a world of difference.
Wow, that’s a really long letter to you.
If you stayed through till the end, thank you for being here for me. I truly appreciate it.
As I embark on this new chapter soon, I also wish you courage & clarity in whatever you’re doing. If you're embarking on something new professionally or personally, I would love to hear how has it been going for you! I am here cheering you on too.
PS: If you are looking for a coach to support you in your journey to step out of your comfort zone or tackle the challenges that you’re going through, I am here for you. Just reply to me directly and let’s explore what’s possible.
PPS: If you resonate with this reflection and find it helpful, share this with your friends and family. They can choose to subscribe to the upcoming newsletters here.
Love,
TJ
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