Last Day at my corporate job
2 days ago, I officially left my corporate job.
My emotions had a roller coaster ride leading up to the day.
I was feeling very anxious 4 weeks before.
Excited 2 weeks before - can’t wait for the final day to come.
Anxious again 1 week before.
Sad & heavy-hearted 1 day before.
Heavy-hearted 1 day after.
Today, I feel relieved.
I wish someone told me that these emotional roller coasters are normal when I left my job back in 2019 after 8 years.
I recalled I worked until the very last day until around 6pm and I didn’t cry that day.
The next day, I woke up with a very heavy heart. I started journaling and then I cried.
People celebrated leaving jobs openly and it felt like something was wrong with me to feel such sadness.
Was I not ready to go? Is that why I felt so sad and heavy?
This time around, I held my emotions with much more kindness and patience.
It is like breaking up with a nice boyfriend whom I know is not suitable for me anymore.
There is love, thus there’s pain.
Yet, there’s also clarity that this is not the place I want to be anymore.
This time, as I feel anxious and sad, I did not panic or blame myself.
I just held these feelings and kept telling them – "It’s okay, Take your time. I can see you, just be there. It’s okay."
Driving back home from my last day at the office on Wednesday, I cried.
I grieve for a chapter that closed.
I grieve for an identity that I am letting go of.
I allowed myself to grieve this time. I did not push them away or distract myself.
I know, deep down that I made the right decision for me.
Was it uncomfortable? Yes.
There was a tiny part of me that felt slightly silly for feeling so sad
“Well, you wanted to leave. Why are you being so emo?”
I noticed that voice and told the part:
“It’s okay for me to be sad. Being sad doesn’t mean I cannot let go. I cared about my work and my people deeply. This too will pass, so just let us be for now.”
I no longer resist being sad to justify that I made the right decision. I don’t have to hate my job to leave.
I can hold this unpleasant feeling.
As I make space for these emotions that felt uncomfortable, I felt so much more space within to embrace what’s ahead.
Today, I feel relieved. The sadness has eased away with a sense of nostalgia.
Now that these feelings are slowly subsiding, I am feeling excitement and hope.
I am embracing my new schedule.
I am also not rushing myself into making huge waves for my business this coming month.
I am embracing this phase of transition with love, kindness and patience and I feel good about myself.
You, I want to let you know that feeling uncomfortable is fine. It will not swallow you whole.
You don’t have to feel afraid to feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean that you’re weak or you are any less ready.
Because you know, if you can hold these uncomfortable feelings, you can keep stepping out of your comfort zone and grow.
There is a sense of confidence that comes with being able to just stay with uncomfortable feelings.
Being strong & courageous doesn’t mean you don’t feel these unpleasant emotions.
Being strong & courageous means being able to stay with feeling these unpleasant emotions and walk ahead anyway.
Bookmark this article and read this when you’re feeling uncomfortable during career or life transitions.
Read this when you’re planning to leave something that’s “good enough” to pursue something that you’re really passionate about.
Because you deserve to live a life that you feel proud of and that may mean taking risks which makes you feel uncomfortable.
PS: If you have been feeling held back by your uncomfortable feelings, I am here for you. Just reply to me directly and let’s explore what’s possible.
PPS: If you resonate with this reflection and find it helpful, share this with your friends and family. They can choose to subscribe to the upcoming newsletters here.
Love,
TJ
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