Inner War: To Rest or To Work?
I am at the airport waiting for my flight.
I am traveling alone and I feel excited - I have been looking forward to this trip for weeks!
At the same time, I sense a conflict within.
I notice my urge to work.
I notice my resistance to work.
The thing about working on something that I am passionate about is that I tend to think about it all the time, and find ways to work on it any chance I have.
It consumes me at times.
I have to step back and remind myself, my work is not me.
I am beyond my work.
Although I am much better at letting myself rest these days, the habitual pattern of optimizing time still sits strong within me.
Being productive is still something I fall back to, by default.
As I sit at McDonald's having my breakfast combo, I notice my urge to whip up my laptop and start working on my business.
Instead, I paused.
I took out my journal and write instead.
I am sharing an excerpt of what I wrote here with you.
“I allow myself to rest.
I allow myself to let my body feel rejuvenated.
I allow myself to enjoy myself without strings attached.
I allow, allow, allow.
I allow myself to slow down and embrace the wonders of life.”
As I write these words, I can feel my heart softening and a sense of lightness surfacing.
I am sharing this with you because I want to let you know that the inner conflict in you about work vs rest is normal.
The “guilt” of not being productive enough is normal.
The “resistance” you feel within is also normal.
Instead of trying to suppress it, have a conversation with yourself.
Set an intention for yourself.
I have learned that this is not a one-off exercise.
I no longer feel frustrated when I see this dilemma because it’s such an old friend of mine – one I used to battle against and now made peace with.
What can you do when you face this conflict within?
1. Notice it
Notice the urge to work and the urge to resist work.
Notice the sensation in your body.
Notice the conversation within.
2. Get in touch with your intention.
What do you really want right now? Listen to your body.
Do you want to work or do you want to rest?
Be very honest to yourself and you will hear the answer.
3. Give yourself permission to honor your intention fully
If it’s to work, allow yourself to work.
If it’s to rest, allow yourself to fully rest.
The in-between is the zone of suffering.
With awareness, compassion, and the practice of making conscious choices, you can be free from your inner war.
Now, I am off to people-watching, checking out delicious food, and reading the new novel I bought.
PS: If you resonate with this reflection and find it helpful, share this with your friends and family. It will be a gift to them! They can choose to subscribe to the upcoming newsletters here.
PPS: I am now opening up coaching slots starting in September. If you would like to move beyond your self-doubt and negative emotions to give yourself the gift of more courage, confidence, joy & peace to start off 2024, you may apply for a coaching discovery session here.
Love,
TJ
NEWSLETTER
Subscribe to my newsletter for more stories, tips & ideas on how to thrive with more confidence & joy
