Struggling with your negative emotions? Read on.

“It didn’t work. I tried to say yes and making space for my anxiety and it didn’t go away fast enough. What am I not doing right?”

I thought to myself. I was just beginning to learn about acceptance of emotions and I was frustrated. The teacher said that acceptance will help me cope with my emotions better. Why am I still feeling stuck here?

I wanted to move on as quickly as possible.

When I experience negative emotions, I would find ways to move past them, to not think of them because I felt that these emotions weighed me down.

I would distract myself from these emotions, calling this “compartmentalization”. When I can’t do that effectively, I blame myself for being not strong enough.

The thing is, the harder I suppress or want to run away from these difficult emotions, they come knocking harder. The harder I say NO to them, the more they bother me.

Now, there are more layers of emotions. There’s frustration of not being able to move beyond the emotion. There’s blame for not being strong enough. Then, guilt follows.

It becomes a vicious cycle and I would feel so drained. Even when I force myself to do something, I would not be able to truly enjoy it.

Then, I came across the practice of acceptance and welcoming all emotions. To be honest, I was resistant at first

“This feeling already feels shitty. How can I accept and allow it? Wouldn’t it balloon even bigger?”

I decided to give it a try anyway because I was tired. I tried to “accept” my emotions because I wanted to feel better.

The thing is, there’s a catch. The body knows.

When I am trying to “trick” my body into accepting an emotion so that it can go away faster, the body knows.

This is not true acceptance, it’s conditional acceptance. Underlying it is still resistance and hoping that this emotion is not there.

This was a very powerful insight for me.

That was when I started to learn to trust the process and truly accepting, allowing.

I understand, it can feel scary. I thought I would be beaten down completely by the sadness or frustration if I really allow them to exist in me.  

Yet, something magical started to unfold as I keep choosing trust and keep practicing with my teacher & coach’s support.

When I stop resisting the feeling and truly gave myself permission to feel, the tension that was clenching me so tightly at the heart area started to loosen. I was able to feel the anxiety deeply and I could see the anxiety clearly. When I see her, I offered care to her. There was no blame and no guilt.

Now, the anxiety is held in a wider space of kindness and acceptance.

It felt less suffocating and the energy that flows within is one that is loving and nurturing. Without many conflicting emotions, there is more clarity and courage. Truly allowing and making space for my difficult emotion has given me so much more peace & strength within.

I no longer shun away anxiety, sadness, and frustration. I feel more resilient because I know, I can hold them.

It all started with trusting and practicing unconditional acceptance within.  

When there are difficult emotions arising, what’s your initial reaction towards them? Do you brush them aside, suppress them or go into a negative spiral?

There is another way. With support, you can learn to trust and practice unconditional acceptance of your emotions which will invite more peace and strength within. That is a liberating feeling.

To start caring for difficult emotions, you can download my free C.A.L.M guide here. There is a short audio guide that you can practice along.  

If you want to learn more about your emotions and thrive with more acceptance, joy & confidence, I am here. You’re not alone.