Feeling too old or it’s too late to start something? Read on
“I feel very happy after I swim.”
I smiled as I read this Whatsapp text from my mom this morning. She is 65 this year. A few years ago, she couldn’t even put her head under water.
My mom hasn’t always been the most spontaneous person. In fact, she’s quite paranoid.
She would worry so much about everything that I often remind her not to stress herself out so much.
For years, she dedicated herself to us. She gave up so much to take care of us.
We were given opportunities to go for classes that she never had the chance to go for – Swimming, Ballet, Piano, Organ, Drawing, Taekwando (yes, I was a busy child)
As we were growing up, she tinkered with the idea of learning things that she has always wanted to learn such as swimming, ballet, and even piano but never gotten around to it.
And when she was around 60 years old, she did.
Why am I sharing all these with you? It’s because sometimes, I would ask myself “Is it too late/old for me to start doing this?” and feel reluctant.
Seeing my mom seize her time inspired me. She allowed herself to try adult ballet and attended a few piano lessons. She also enrolled in swimming classes.
Perhaps, that thought of “am I too late” may have crossed her mind. I am not sure about it.
The important thing is, she took action.
She took action and her actions gave her feedback. It was a virtuous cycle – the more she took action, the clearer she became about what she enjoyed. With that, she became even more motivated and joyful.
After a period, she decided that swimming was what truly sparked joy for her. So, she focused on learning to swim and let go of her ballet and piano classes.
She wasn’t embarrassed about starting to learn swimming in her 60s. She went to both a private class and a group class with younger children.
I could feel her coming alive! She was always so excited to go to her classes.
She would enthusiastically pack her swimming bag and go swimming alone when we are not free to accompany her.
She would watch youtube videos of how swimmers swim.
The pandemic and movement control order did not put a stop to her newfound hobby. When it was safe for us to return to the pool, she went back.
Now, she swims 3-4 times a week.
I look at her with awe.
The woman who was always waiting by the side, watching us swim and passing us towels and water is now in the pool, in her element. She’s in her arena now.
I feel touched and thankful.
I feel touched by her living her life fully and not being held back by limiting thoughts. I feel thankful that she receives so much joy.
I have also learned two very important lessons that I remind myself about.
Firstly – you are not “too old” or “too late”.
When I feel that it’s “too late” to start something, I think of her.
I caught the tiny voice of doubt when I enrolled myself in a Masters's course a year ago. I took action anyway. This year, I would like to get back to dancing.
So, if you find yourself wondering if you should enroll in that dancing class or learn to strum a guitar, do it!
If you have been thinking of trying to start that project or business that’s in your mind, take that tiny step forward.
Today, we are the youngest we will ever be.
My question to you is – What would you like to try this year if it’s not too late for you to start doing it?
Secondly – If you try something and end up not liking it, there’s no shame. It’s completely fine.
When you allow yourself to take action, you’re getting valuable feedback. You don’t have to force yourself to love it.
Getting feedback that certain things do not feel as great as you think, or certain projects are just not suitable for you helps you understand yourself better. It guides you closer towards what’s more suitable instead. It also has the benefit of not leaving you always wondering – “if only….”
Let your emotions be your guide. If you feel that sense of joy from within, keep doing it.
Don’t get me wrong, things that bring you deep joy may not always be easy or makes you feel like you’re happy all the time. It often requires effort and at times feel uncomfortable when there’s a learning curve. Yet, you know it when it resonates with you deep inside.
Similarly, you would know if certain things just don’t tug at your heartstrings.
You are allowed to let go of projects and goals that no longer matter to you.
Giving up and letting go are two different things.
For high achievers, letting go can feel “wrong”. It can feel like you are not strong enough to persevere. It can feel like you’re giving up.
However, persevering for the sake of perseverance is not a strength. Being willing to let go takes a different form of courage and strength.
Persevere for what’s worthy. Let go completely of what no longer serves you.
As we embark into 2023, I wish that you give yourself permission and courage to do the things that you have always wanted and in return – gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
Happy mom in the pool
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